40 Dating App Conversation Starters That Get Replies
Stop opening with hey. Here are 40 conversation starters for dating apps, sorted by situation, plus the reason some first messages get replies and others do not.
Tips · 5 min read ·
Why hey does not work
Hey puts all the work on the other person. They have to think of something interesting to say to a stranger, and most people will not bother.
A good opener does three things. It is easy to answer, it shows you read their profile, and it gives them something to react to. That is all.
Starters based on their profile
These get the most replies, because they are about the other person.
- Your bio says you judge handwriting. How bad does it have to be?
- That trek photo: where was it, and would you do it again?
- You listed three interests and I can only argue with one of them.
- What is the story behind your second photo?
- Your prompt answer is either very brave or very wrong. Explain.
- You mentioned filter coffee. Is there a correct place to get it?
- I need the full review of the book in your photo.
- Which of your interests would you give up last?
This or That starters
Two options are easier than an open question. Pick ones with no wrong answer.
- Library or café to study?
- Morning lecture or evening lecture?
- Chai or coffee, and is this negotiable?
- Hostel mess or ordering in?
- Text first or wait to be texted?
- Group project or solo assignment?
- Beach trip or mountain trip?
- Plan the weekend or see what happens?
Campus starters
Shared context does half the work. If you are both students, use it.
- What is the one elective you regret?
- Which canteen item do you defend to people who are wrong about it?
- Best spot on campus that nobody knows about?
- What does your exam week look like, honestly?
- Fest committee, sports, or avoiding both?
- Worst group project story. Go.
- What are you studying, and would you pick it again?
- Where do you go when you need to get off campus?
Funny starters
Use these when their profile is playful. Skip them if it is not.
- Two truths and a lie. I will guess.
- Rate your cooking from instant noodles to edible.
- What is your most controversial food opinion?
- You get one song on loop for a week. Which one do you regret by day three?
- Defend your coffee order in one sentence.
- What would your friends say is your worst habit?
- What is the last thing you searched for at 2am?
- Describe your weekend using only three words.
Starters that go a little deeper
Good for the second or third message, once there is some back and forth.
- What is something you are good at that nobody expects?
- What would you be doing if you were not procrastinating right now?
- What is a small thing that makes your day better?
- Which city would you move to after college, if you could pick?
- What are you looking forward to this month?
- What is the best advice you ignored?
- What do you want to be doing in two years?
- What is one thing you wish people asked you about?
What to do after they reply
The opener only gets you the first reply. To keep it going:
Answer your own question. If you asked chai or coffee, say which one you are.
Follow up on what they said. One real follow-up question is worth more than three new topics.
Do not interview. Share something, then ask something.
Suggest meeting once it is flowing. A week of good chat is enough. Name a place and a day.
When the chat stalls
Every conversation runs out of steam at some point. A game restarts it without anyone having to think of a new topic. Truth or Dare, Would You Rather and This or That all work over text.
Campus Cupid, a dating app for college students in India, has these three games built into chat. It is open for pre-registration on Google Play.